dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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