did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
