Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need a beard to bite.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
