He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.