If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize