I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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