i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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