It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming