R you on birth control?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.