just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Some milfs here doing some blow
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after