NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion