Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.