is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He's on the porch naked. Help.