A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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