I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
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So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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