FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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