I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
