What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
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you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize