Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
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I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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