how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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