she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My liver just had a heart attack.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
