Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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