My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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