I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
