Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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