I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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