So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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