so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
