On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
operation harelip BJ is a go
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Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize