my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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