I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
