Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
