ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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