guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.