***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
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I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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