So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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