he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
