Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize