Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
