Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...