Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.