It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed