dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.