How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
