I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
