i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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