lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
