Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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