it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
