My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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