So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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