I'm so fucking centered right now
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
