can u get pink eye on your cock?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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