Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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