Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
