I love black thongs
im drinking this country out of the recession.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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